Cancer survivor Manoj Sheeri’s bone chilling note on cancer, it’s awareness and much more
Srinagar, February 4: Cancer, the very word sends chills down one’s spine. The gravity of the illness is such that its mere utterance makes you very pensive.Your close ones knowingly or unknowingly camouflage it, by saying that so and so person has been diagnosed with a “tumour”.
Since I am no researcher, I will not comment on how the disease spreads.
However, what I can safely say is that its detection rate has increased as the diagnosis rate of other diseases have also increased.
It is not once but twice,I have gone through the horrors of this disease. It shakes your confidence,shatters your finances, dents your agility and criples your mobility.In no time It makes you ‘Baichara’ and even your enemies show courtesy.It essentially means that you are a spent force and your ability to perform becomes quetionable.
First it was in the third week of September 2011 that I booked an appointment with Dr Bilal Khan after I found some abnormality in my digestive system. An endoscopy almost confirmed that there was some malignancy in my stomach.By constantly monitoring and following the protocol prescribed by the doctors,and help of family friends and my department, I came out of the physical,mental and economic trauma of this disease. Things become normal at office as well as at the home as also in my small social circle.
However,the misfortune was again in waiting and in 2023 It was again found in stomach at anastomatic site.When my biopsy after 10 days came positive,I was literally mad and thought how cruel God was to me.The second time I was in know of the pangs I had to go through again.I was knowing almost all the tests and investigations I had to go through. I had the experience what It takes to battle It out at the hospital,in operation theatre,in Intensive Care Unit and at the therapy centre,but I was very apprehensive about my fight this time.I was around 45 years of age when It was first detected and in 2023 I was about 57 years of age.I thought and shared with my wife that this time It was very difficult to bear the cut and the side effects of chemo and radio therapy.
More than 12 years ago and last February the moment I was diagnosed with the cells going rougue, my family’s battles with the dreaded illness began on many fronts and the blunt strikes raided our collective psyche.
My parents were shattered and the kids wore a stone face. Though my wife would put up a brave face, she was devastated beneath the veneer. I was nervous and edgy. I had lost hope.The second time my parents were unconsolable and would ask again and again with moist eyes,why has it come back?
Without going into the further details of our torment , let me share with you the lessons it taught me and my family.
Self means every thing.
You are the Sun of your family Solar system and all other family members, friends and relatives are planets and sattilites.It is you and your health which are the priceless entities.So give good time to your self and your overall well being.
Resistance is Existence
When I was about to be taken for operation at Tata Memorial Hospital,my wife came to me and said,”Fight karna”.I looked at her and smiled.Dr S.V.Shirkhandi and his team was going to operate and open my stomach and I would be half dead on the operation table and my wife was advising me ‘Fight’.”What Fight?”
Though, I could not appreciate at that moment what she was advising yet today I can say that one has to fight.It begins in the morning every day when you have a look at the mirror and you tell yourself,”Look I have lived yesterday and new Sun has risen,let me resist and implement the plan which I have thought for my health today.”All through the day you have to fight and resist against negativity,negative thoughts,comments and developments and move on.
The second time, I fought it was emotionally more challenging.Barely after a month after I was operated upon,I lost my father.During the days of mourning I had to get my ‘yet to heal stitches ‘ re-done and had to go for my first cycle of chemotherapy.While the traditional 10th day pooja for my father was going on,I was not able to move out of my bed because of side effects of the therapy.It was very unfortunate and I will have to live with it that I could not take part actively in the rites of my father.
Life is very ad hoc
We have been reminded by books and scriptures that life is not permanent. It has to come to an end as it is destined to.
Once I was detected with carcinoma, I could feel that my end was near. Ever since that day, I live with the thought that death is inevitable and it can knock me down any split second. So, for me, from that day, life became very ad hoc.
The sword of ‘Kaal’ hangs by a delicate string. I could feel the hangman’s noose being tightened around my neck.The chilling fact is that one moment you are alive, and dead in the next. And I feel lucky today that I live with this experience every passing moment.
This realisation of this “ad hoc” nature of existence forces me, hankers after me, and pressures me to put each second to good use. It reminds me to keep working towards something constructive, which may last longer than my body, mind and soul.This has also forced me to firmly do today what can be done today itself and not postponing things for tomorrow.
Keep the doctor close
Initially, a cancer survivor needs to go for checkups every three months. The routine later extends to a visit every four months and later twice a year. These follow-ups are crucial after the initial life-saving intervention succeeds.
They include scans, ultra-sonography, blood tests et al – to assess your recovery status. You can go for redressal as early as possible when and if the need arises. So while your target is to remain cancer-free, you also guard against other illnesses and diseases.
At the same time, there is no denying that every time the radiologist brushes instruments against your body, FEAR grips your mind and an “if” of demonic dimension is at arm’s length – ready to grab you and your dreams.
Here I must say that if God wants you to live you will live.Having said that I must agree that first time the observation of change in routine systems of body helped me to detect it and second time It was solely the monitoring with the help of test.The take away here for everyone is that,keep your Doctor nearby and keep monitoring your body and go for checkups and tests as and when advised.You will save yourself from many other diseases and will have a robust health. Health issues will not disturb your life.
These checkups help you to prioritise and focus on areas that need your attention. Be it personal ambitions or dreams for your family’s future or work commitments. Cancer puts in an element of urgency and you want to work 24X7 and realise your dreams as soon as possible.
This urge for excellence has helped me push myself to achieve targets in a stipulated period of time.
Choose a job that prioritises your welfare
I spent the initial days of my career working with the private sector and there is no denying that it taught me a lot and helped me advance professionally. It is true that for various reasons, the private sector seems greener but the way the government takes care of its employees when they are in distress or fighting a life threatening illness is unparalleled. The private sector has a lot to learn when it comes to the welfare of employees.
So if you select a job for your sustenance, look at the rules that the company follows when an employee falls ill or meets an accident.
Preference should be given to the organisation that has better welfare measures besides offering economic security. When you turn pale, even the best of friends discard you.
Hope is the byword
Never lose heart or hope. Never be pessimistic; in fact, be over-optimistic. Don’t forget, miracles do occur and efforts, not results matter the most.
Prayer is an anchor
Pray if you feel like. Earn the goodwill of the people and you will witness a difference – particularly in distress, and that feeling has a cascading effect on your thinking. It keeps your mind in good shape. Remember, all fights are fought and won in minds.
Here also I must tell my reader that my Muslim neighbours at my native place Sheeri prayed for me in the mosques and organised special prayers for me on Fridays.My Sikh colleagues organised Akhand path for my welfare. My sisters,immediate family,extended family and relatives conducted special prayers,hawans for me.My officers and department stood like a rock behind me.This I am underlining to convey that ‘Support’ in whatever shape helps the affected person to fight better.
To conclude I would like say that Life in itself is fight to extend Life.Fight brings Success.
Manoj is a senior KPS officer who is currently serving Jammu and Kashmir Police Department.
